So at my (space themed!) birthday party last Friday people kept asking me how it feels to be 30 and I’d say I’m not really 30 until next Wednesday. Until my sister pointed out ‘the balloons say 30, the cake says 30… you’re 30’
I still didn’t have much to say about it but since then I’ve been thinking about what it has meant to be 29 vs. what it might mean to be 30. As far as I can see I have basically been in denial of adulthood for the past 12 years. Even as I’ve watched my life change in significant ways I have seen myself as young. When I opened my store at 23 I was young in my field. I’ve certainly noticed myself getting older since then. Getting married, becoming a mom, becoming a mom of two. But we are all getting older every day and I have continued to see myself as a ‘young person’ even as I’ve started to see a larger group of people as ‘younger people’. Given the demographic of my town I will probably continue to see myself as young at least in comparison to most of the population here.
I guess I’ll start to find out in 3 days what it means to be 30 for me but mostly I’m looking forward to it. It’s a new chapter. Even though everything is always changing we notice it more with milestones and with the ebb and flow of the seasons (especially here where the seasons change so quickly). Anything that makes us note the passage of time tends to bring up thoughts of all that has changed and all that we would like to change. It may also remind us of our own mortality but then nature can always remind us of our immortality.